Anyone who knows Serena understands she is delighted by toilet humour! This part I’m leaving to her.

Whenever I travel it’s the bathrooms and toilets that I find the most amusing. This trip is proving no exception. At the time I started to write this we had boarded the Al Boraq high speed train from Tangiers to Casablanca and thirteen days later I am now sitting in Marrakech our last night in Morocco before flying to the UK tomorrow. The incomplete Moroccan shower score was:

· Rob 2 vs Morocco 2, with 2 draw

· Serena 4 vs Morocco 1, with 1 draw

I worked out early it was best to shower second – I look busy organising luggage etc, so Rob ventures in for the morning’s sport (pretty canny on my part I thought).

The GNV ferry from Genoa to Tangiers we were pleasantly surprised and has already been written about, but specifically for this blog the bathroom had a small shower with curtain, toilet and basin (everything you need really). We had to adopt some night time etiquette in readiness for the midnight flush - due to the loud sucking explosive sound when you press the button.

Our first morning in Ksar es Sghir Rob’s up first – I hear some cursing and see water flooding on the floors around us reaching towards the bed (fortunately tiled floors)! Suddenly all the towels in the room are required to stop a larger flood, turns out the shower had no basin to retain the water and on closer inspection there was a shower plug in place stopping water slowly draining away – wasn’t expecting that! Forearmed I venture in – success.

At this point I add I have a fascination with bidets – part curiosity part terror, small town Kiwi it’s not something I’m familiar with. I’m curious but also have lots of questions …. why is there a plug – do you fill it up and rest your butt in the bath like a mini spa, the toilet paper is closer to the bidet – we know water and paper are a messy mix, so figure the two need to be kept separate, and in Tangier there was a phone between the toilet and the bidet – is that to order room service, or to call if you get stuck? So many questions ……

Back to the showers, our next one is Chefchaouen – looks pretty good, a proper basin to avoid overflow, but with no curtain or door I do foresee problems, Rob’s up and he is making some disturbing noises …. he steps out (Morocco 2 – Rob 0), at this point I add that all the showers do suffer some prostrate problems with light pressure, so am surprised he can spread water from one area of the bathroom to the next. Again many towels are required to mop the floor. Feeling somewhat smug I venture in. Turning on the handheld hose to get the temperature right and rest it back in its holder on the wall, I get ready and step in – only to suddenly have the hose fall out of its holder and it’s spinning like a wild snake cold water all over me and going everywhere. At this point I lose it and start giggling uncontrollably, priceless. This was it Morocco won that time! More towels needed. We were smarter on the second morning – however there was a mixed moment for Rob (that was classed as a draw).

I might add our Singapore hotel also had an interesting shower, no curtain – close quarters, more towels required to soak up the excess and sodden feet every time we visited the toilet (we were glad to not be staying longer). Italy bathrooms had a step into them (of various heights) – this had caught me out many times particularly when visiting in the middle of the night. Tangiers no step but half asleep, I find myself still stepping up and down when crossing the threshold (and just finding air). Likewise Florence had an interesting shower experience – it looked ok but discovering the doors only opened so wide the user had to do a funny side shimmy to get in and out – good motivation for weight loss, if you get too big there could be no showering!

Our Go Tours group had arranged our Tangier accommodation, it was a wonderful hotel, restful, great wifi, great bed – the shower was entertaining (the first morning Rob had to problem solve the plug, door, slippery bath floor, and temperature), but after two mornings that was much better negotiated! I also enjoyed my first blissful soak in a bath since well before my hip replacement, was soooooo good, I would have stayed in it longer except the water cooled too quickly. Hot water baths and spas I had been warned off by the orthopaedic surgeon so had naturally avoided them for a while, but nearly back to 100% strength and muscle repair I was going in!

Next accommodation booked by our tour was in Casablanca. This shower – looking hopeful with good water pressure just a high step into the bath, a mixing tap for better temperature control, glass shower door – decided I should brave it and go first, seemed good but had to hug the right hand wall to get wet and got tangled with the hose. Turned out the glass door was too narrow and didn’t prevent spillage as discovered by Rob when he was up next – he had the extra challenge given his height and struggled to reach the water, resulting in more towels to mop the floor. Casablanca was declared a draw for us both. At this point I stopped analysing showers for the remainder of our stay in Morocco, they were variable but no new entertaining issues just a few quirky moments (suggest they need some user experience testing), we’d become a bit more accustomed and adept.

Another bathroom highlight were the hairdryers … there was some odd Dr Who looking contraption both in Italy and on the GNV ferry – I braved it just the once and it gave a warm puff of air that made me appreciate my short hair, needless to say my hair hasn’t been well coiffed on this trip to date.

Hairdryer or one armed Cyberman - you decide

Toilets – despite enjoying toilet humour I wont dwell on these too much - we want you to continue to read our travel blogs. The hole in the ground ones we’ve avoided (where possible), the ancient cities don’t have good plumbing. There was an apology and embarrassed look to a cleaner on exiting one room. We have had foot pumps for flushing, strange handles for water and soap. A toilet in Venice with a seat so low a crane would have been needed to get back up again. You never know what you’re going to find, and isn’t that the best experience of travel, to make you appreciate what you have back home by learning the differences around the world.

WARNING: there was a particular incident with a toilet brush in Morocco, I screamed (Rob cried with laughter as realised what I’d encountered) and I now have a new appreciation for the double flush technique, or bidet when available!

View from the toilet

Rob Scotcher Photography